Sunday, June 28, 2015

BRAINSCAN (1994)

Teenager Edward Furlong lives in a big house with his parents nowhere to be seen.  One day his best friend tells him about a new horror video game called Brainscan.  Eddie gets a copy and next thing you know he's going on a virtual reality trip where he's fantasizing about killing a dude down the street and chopping off his foot.  Eddie awakens from his gaming session totally stoked about how awesome Brainscan is...then he finds the guy's severed foot in his freezer and things aren't so cool anymore.  Bummer.

The story is predictable to anybody who's paying attention, but it's still a fun ride down the mid-90's memory lane back when virtual reality was a hot property and featured in stuff like THE LAWNMOWER MAN, VIRTUOSITY, JOHNNY MNEMONIC and so on.  Brisk pace, good enough acting, numerous cheesy CG effects that were pretty neat back then, super brief topless scene, nowhere near as much violence as I had hoped, Metallica and Aerosmith posters, 90's rock soundtrack featuring White Zombie, Mudhoney, Primus, Pitchshifter, Butthole Surfers, etc.

Not a bad way to spend a hour and a half.  Recommended for fans of 90's movies.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A REAL YOUNG GIRL (1976)

"I can't accept the proximity of my face and my vagina."

Wow.  This is one hell of a movie...and I'm not sure that I'm saying that in a good way or a bad way.  Fourteen-year-old schoolgirl Alice (played by 20 year-old Charlotte Alexandra) is home for summer on her parents farm.  Being physically very mature for her age, I, at first thought, that she was just going through some sexual awakenings when she would touch herself and fantasize about local boys/men, but then she started puking on herself, putting thorns in her panties, laying her panties on a rotted dog corpse, rubbing her bare foot in human piss while smoking, crushing eggs, smearing earwax and pussy juice all over the place, masturbating on the train tracks, sticking a tanning oil bottle up her asshole and fantasizing about rubbing dismembered worms on her pussy and sticking chicken feathers up her butthole and I began to change my mind...this chick is wack.  Maybe not as wack as the woman from THE PIANO TEACHER but give her time, she's still young.

Wack or not, A REAL YOUNG GIRL is an interesting movie and definitely not one you're going to forget anytime soon.  There's plenty of nudity on the part of Alice and various guy's ping-dings (which I didn't feel like taking screenshots of)[Edit 02/07/2021: that's pretty closed-minded of me.  I'm sorry.  I'll update with pictures of dudes floppy junk when I get a chance], but it's all done in such a slow arthouse way that there is zero sexual gratification from watching it.  Also everything is so dirty!  Flies everywhere, dirt all over the place, the bathtub is nearly black with grime, dead animals, blood, a chicken having it's throat slit onscreen in graphic detail, chicken entrails, piss standing on the floor, vomit, mutilated worms, a crushed egg...it's all very unsexy.  I can only guess that that was done on purpose by the filmmakers, but it's doesn't mean I have to like it.  I like my sexy movies with as little chicken intestines and rotten dead dogs as possible.

Interesting as a arthouse film.  Uninteresting as a sex movie  100% worth checking out.