Wednesday, October 24, 2012

THE HOLLOW (2004)

Goddamn it. Why do I do this to myself? Before I even put this turd in the DVD player I knew it was gonna stink up the joint, but still I gave it a chance and you know what?  I was right, it fucking sucked.

Ichabod Crane’s 9x great-grandson moves to the town that Ichabod was from and now the Headless Horseman is after him to settle some unfinished business...(sigh).

So, anyway, the movie starts with two teens getting killed (off screen) by the Horseman and that’s it as far as action goes until at least an hour later. But lack of violence is the least of your worries because Stacy Keach plays the town crazy and he never shuts up! Also, the guy who plays the popular jock character does a pathetic Mark Wahlberg impersonation for the entire movie that just grates on your nerves. Oh yeah, Judge Reinhold plays the main character's dad, but all he does is just stand there looking embarrassed.

Very few deaths, high school level special effects, the one lone hot chick is not that hot and doesn’t even get naked and nearly the entire movie is shot in the dark…these are just a few of the things you’ll have to endure but if you’re looking for a good drinking game then take a swig every time Stacy Keach says “teacher” You’ll be shitting your pants by the end of the movie.

Skip it, not even worth a rent.