Wednesday, February 23, 2011

THE BEASTS ARE ON THE STREETS (1978)

"Hey, don't ya know? Kids today, they're not into drinking beer. They're into smokin'!"

Originally broadcast on NBC on May 18, 1978, THE BEASTS ARE ON THE STREETS is the straight-forward and relatively fast-moving story about a bunch of animals that escape from an animal preserve due to a truck wrecking into a fence.  Yeah, that story's pretty weak, but, who cares...I just wanna see the animals running around!  And speaking of critters.  You got tigers, lions, rhinos, ostriches, panthers, bears, elephants and camels.  The lions being the naughtiest of the bunch.  On the human side of things, we have a friendly zookeeper who's trying to capture the animals before any trigger happy hunters or cops can get their blast on.

Tiger vs. bear, Volkswagen Beetle vs. ostrich, Billy Green Bush acting like a psychopath, Burton Gilliam smoking an invisible joint, bear vs. paddle boat, lion vs. dog, lion vs. horse, brief elephant appearance, even briefer giraffe appearance, multiple animal trainers accidentally shown, Volkswagen Beetle vs. a rhinoceros, quick pace that slows some towards the end, zero nudity, zero gore, a baby camel that was so goddamn cute.  

Overall, TBAOTS is a fun film.  I bet kids back in 1978 loved it, since it's almost non-stop animal action. And that lion cub was so cute! I honestly think I said "Awwww!" every time he was on the screen...his paws were huge and his little trot was so adorable!

On the downside, I was very disappointed in the lack of monkeys and orangutans.  A rampaging spider monkey running around throwing his poo at people would have been entertainment gold...just ask Robert McCammon.